Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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