is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
