we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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