All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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