whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
