I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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