When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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