And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
