hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
