Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
It's never too late to be topless.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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