i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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