READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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