Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
