her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
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