he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
