my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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