Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
