Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
