ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
