Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
