I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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