So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
