On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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