Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
