i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
