hotel room ftw
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
