porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
