how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
