Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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