I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
