his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Randomize