Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
