I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
