**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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