So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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