saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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