I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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