Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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