just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
party gras won. party gras always wins.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
