...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
