Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
