He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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