if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Randomize
