Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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