Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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