Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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