Swine flu. Run for my life!
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
