My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
