After last night, I could never be a politician.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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