so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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