I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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