I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
