i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
