she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
