There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
