Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
two words: eviction party
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Randomize
