he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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