...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
