Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
