i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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