But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
